Happy Birth Day

This is the first year I have actively avoided acknowledging my daughter’s birthday.

31 years ago today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Dream come true, I had my daughter. Her father was thrilled, she was his first child, I was thrilled, she was my heart.

She was the middle child, between 2 brothers. Doted on, spoiled, and loved completely, she grew up to be the well behaved child, when the boys were stretching their wings in the world, she was getting good grades, being helpful, supportive. She like the boys had issues with their father and my divorce, but it was clearly an issue between the adults, even though their father never really did admit to them why it all fell apart. But as they got older the boys struck out with anger, and she was more and more support.

Its been a long time since then, and the boys and I are becoming friends again. My heart has turned on me. The last communication I had with my daughter was one in which we parted company. Where she made it clear that she had no mother. Something she continues to do any way she can.
Her brothers have seen her behavior and really want nothing more to do with her. She is alienating people left and right.

I still love her. I will always love her. She is my heart. Today, I celebrate her birth day, quietly, on my own.

~ by Cris on November 7, 2009.