trying to get outside of myself
It has been/will be a busy week. Monday at the hospital/tx clinic. Tuesday meet with the old boss, Wednesday meet with the editor of the mag we will be freelancing with, Thursday, an old friend to visit, Saturday a grandbaby overnight.
so why do i feel so isolated? why do i feel so tired, unmotivated, unenergetic, blue. I can veg on the computer all day. Online classes, building a family tree, playing games, reading blogs. It could be a full time occupation. But its still isolating. Even when I have the opportunity (games with chat, facebook, adium) i rarely interact with humans. I am isolating myself. I don’t want to talk on the phone…infact I actively avoid it. I set myself on invisible on most of the chat things i am connected to. I feel like i don’t have much to say (or that what i do have to say is pretty much johnny one note stuff).
mostly i am tired. I can pull it together to look engaged when i am called on to do so, but the motivation to crawl out of my shell is difficult to find. i don’t have a lot to offer at the moment (if ever).
maybe i will try the meme that is going around….see if i can find 25 interesting things about myself.
Funny you should say that I am in that very same space. I am so withdrawn and that is so different from me a year ago when I took every opportunity to go out, to talk to people, to interact and now I avoid those same things. I guess it’s fine for us to be in our quite space. Right?
yes, we have the right to be where we are, without people trying to “fix” it!
Hello – I have so been enjoying your blog. I found you through another blog that pointed to you. I have started at your beginning and am delightfully reading through all of your archives. I just have one question – why don’t you capitalize at the beginning of sentences? it just makes it a bit difficult to read. However, if this is your preference, I will adjust to it and continue reading as is. Thank you for your words.
Thanks and welcome.
I’ve been freelancing for free at Outword Magazine – it’s fun and distracting plus I’ve interviewed both Suzanne Westenhoefer and kd lang already. I’m going for the Melissa if she schedules a concert nearby.
Hope you have fun with the freelancing!